The way we communicate with others is a habit. Therefore, we often do not know whether the pattern of conversation that we are doing is good or not good.
In everyday life you would often say to myself, "ah uncomfortable talking to person A, I better look for the B and have a chat with him."
I do not know your own into which category: Person A or Person B, hopefully not the A because the A is usually always shunned by her friends.
If only you entered in the A category, you do not need to worry because of poor communication patterns can certainly be improved. Below are some common mistakes made by people with some solutions to fix it.
1. Not ListeningMost people are not good listeners tipekal. This is surely related to their high ego, who just want to be listened to than listen. In every conversation they seem not stand waiting for their turn to speak.
Learn to push your ego to listen seriously to what others say.
When you take a stand to start listening, you're paving the way for the creation of a relationship (any kind) with huge potential. But still avoid the short answer "yes" or "no", because if you like that person you would give half the information to you. Enthusiastic to the topic they were talking about, for example, if the person you're talking about his experience climbing the mountain at the end of last week, you can ask him:
- What do you climb mountains?- What's love of mountain climbing?- What are you doing on the mountain?
Such questions will make the subject more deeply, more attractive, and the fishing even more topics to be discussed. And last but not least you know that person you really are listening. This of course will make the other person's level of respect you get on you.
2. Asking Too Much
Some questions may mean you are keen to talk to your opponent, but was ultimately too much to ask to be not good because it seems like you're menginterogerasi your person, and can make them uncomfortable.
Try to combine the statements and questions, for example:
- I went last week with a weekend fishing trip with my work buddies. Do you like fishing?
3. Running out of topics to Talk
In a conversation you may often feel out of topics to be discussed with the other person, especially if you talk to someone who you just know. To prevent this from happening, there are a few suggestions about the topics you can discuss:
- A wise man once said "Do not leave home without reading the newspaper first. If you run out of topics to be discussed, you can start talking about the news that are hot right now. "- Talk about something that is around you. Probably about the aquarium that was behind you, the kids who were playing next to you, or whatever it is possible to talk about around you.
4. Submission of the Poor
One of the most important thing in communication is not what you say but how you present it. Changes in habits will make a big difference, because the voice and body language is a very vital part in communicating. Some things below for you to consider:
- Say it slowly. When you talk about something that is fun, easy for you to start a conversation and you can even talk very quickly. You try to slow the speed of your speech, because it's easier for your listener to listen and capture the point you're all about.- Speak in a loud voice. No need to hesitate, because the person you really want to listen to you.- Speak clearly. Do not like mumbling.- Speak with a voice that is monotonous. Involve the emotion in your voice.- Use the pause. Coupled with the slow delivery of the pauses will make you more attentive listener in the listening and the atmosphere became more relaxed.- Use good body language. In future articles, I will discuss how to use good body language.
5. Interrupt
Did you feel if you cut off the conversation by talking your opponent? ... Yes, your listener will feel the same if you cut him off. Let the person you spend in advance what to say. That is one of your awards on your person. Seek a balance between listening and speaking.
6. Desire "Always Right"
People will not impress you if you always want to feel right in every conversation. Often the conversation is not really a discussion. Sometimes we want to keep the mood is still good to talk to someone. For example: one of the friends you want to tell you the thrill of rafting experience to the extent that the rubber boat overturned. But how do you even talk a good rafting. I believe the mood of your friends will instantly change.Sit down relax, talk and not argue.
7. Talking About The Things Odd or Negative
Have you ever met someone and after that he was talking about strange things or negative, such as deteriorating health, a story of murder, his boss is a bitch, or a strange language that only he and his friends who know the meaning.I do not think it helpful to talk things strange or negative way. People will be happy to talk to you if you always give positive energy in every word that you spend.
8. Boring
Do not tell long-term about your car you just bought or your home just completed. The average person is not too interested in such stories, the ability to expose yourself too. Look for topics that lead to things that are passionate about or things that are funny for example. Could you also tell me about your experience last weekend at the top or you plan on coming Fitri holiday. The bottom line is something positive. Not also complain about your boss or your job.
Dale Carnegie once said:"In two months you will have more friends in a way enthusiastic about their stories than 2 years you make friends by trying to lure them interested in your stories."
Try giving more role in talking to your listener. Later you will build a quality relationship.Maybe you've heard the term "why did God create two ears and one mouth? ... So that we listen more than talk.
9. Not Responding Properly
If someone told me about his experience, do not just answer with a nod or a short phrase. Be open and tell me what you think. Express your feelings.
In closing, you do not have to fix all the above nine steps at once. Pick about 3 most important things that you think needs to be fixed for 3-4 weeks and you are trying to do this continuously until it becomes a habit.
Hopefully these tips useful for you so that someday you can become a good friend to talk to your friends or your spouse.
In everyday life you would often say to myself, "ah uncomfortable talking to person A, I better look for the B and have a chat with him."
I do not know your own into which category: Person A or Person B, hopefully not the A because the A is usually always shunned by her friends.
If only you entered in the A category, you do not need to worry because of poor communication patterns can certainly be improved. Below are some common mistakes made by people with some solutions to fix it.
1. Not ListeningMost people are not good listeners tipekal. This is surely related to their high ego, who just want to be listened to than listen. In every conversation they seem not stand waiting for their turn to speak.
Learn to push your ego to listen seriously to what others say.
When you take a stand to start listening, you're paving the way for the creation of a relationship (any kind) with huge potential. But still avoid the short answer "yes" or "no", because if you like that person you would give half the information to you. Enthusiastic to the topic they were talking about, for example, if the person you're talking about his experience climbing the mountain at the end of last week, you can ask him:
- What do you climb mountains?- What's love of mountain climbing?- What are you doing on the mountain?
Such questions will make the subject more deeply, more attractive, and the fishing even more topics to be discussed. And last but not least you know that person you really are listening. This of course will make the other person's level of respect you get on you.
2. Asking Too Much
Some questions may mean you are keen to talk to your opponent, but was ultimately too much to ask to be not good because it seems like you're menginterogerasi your person, and can make them uncomfortable.
Try to combine the statements and questions, for example:
- I went last week with a weekend fishing trip with my work buddies. Do you like fishing?
3. Running out of topics to Talk
In a conversation you may often feel out of topics to be discussed with the other person, especially if you talk to someone who you just know. To prevent this from happening, there are a few suggestions about the topics you can discuss:
- A wise man once said "Do not leave home without reading the newspaper first. If you run out of topics to be discussed, you can start talking about the news that are hot right now. "- Talk about something that is around you. Probably about the aquarium that was behind you, the kids who were playing next to you, or whatever it is possible to talk about around you.
4. Submission of the Poor
One of the most important thing in communication is not what you say but how you present it. Changes in habits will make a big difference, because the voice and body language is a very vital part in communicating. Some things below for you to consider:
- Say it slowly. When you talk about something that is fun, easy for you to start a conversation and you can even talk very quickly. You try to slow the speed of your speech, because it's easier for your listener to listen and capture the point you're all about.- Speak in a loud voice. No need to hesitate, because the person you really want to listen to you.- Speak clearly. Do not like mumbling.- Speak with a voice that is monotonous. Involve the emotion in your voice.- Use the pause. Coupled with the slow delivery of the pauses will make you more attentive listener in the listening and the atmosphere became more relaxed.- Use good body language. In future articles, I will discuss how to use good body language.
5. Interrupt
Did you feel if you cut off the conversation by talking your opponent? ... Yes, your listener will feel the same if you cut him off. Let the person you spend in advance what to say. That is one of your awards on your person. Seek a balance between listening and speaking.
6. Desire "Always Right"
People will not impress you if you always want to feel right in every conversation. Often the conversation is not really a discussion. Sometimes we want to keep the mood is still good to talk to someone. For example: one of the friends you want to tell you the thrill of rafting experience to the extent that the rubber boat overturned. But how do you even talk a good rafting. I believe the mood of your friends will instantly change.Sit down relax, talk and not argue.
7. Talking About The Things Odd or Negative
Have you ever met someone and after that he was talking about strange things or negative, such as deteriorating health, a story of murder, his boss is a bitch, or a strange language that only he and his friends who know the meaning.I do not think it helpful to talk things strange or negative way. People will be happy to talk to you if you always give positive energy in every word that you spend.
8. Boring
Do not tell long-term about your car you just bought or your home just completed. The average person is not too interested in such stories, the ability to expose yourself too. Look for topics that lead to things that are passionate about or things that are funny for example. Could you also tell me about your experience last weekend at the top or you plan on coming Fitri holiday. The bottom line is something positive. Not also complain about your boss or your job.
Dale Carnegie once said:"In two months you will have more friends in a way enthusiastic about their stories than 2 years you make friends by trying to lure them interested in your stories."
Try giving more role in talking to your listener. Later you will build a quality relationship.Maybe you've heard the term "why did God create two ears and one mouth? ... So that we listen more than talk.
9. Not Responding Properly
If someone told me about his experience, do not just answer with a nod or a short phrase. Be open and tell me what you think. Express your feelings.
In closing, you do not have to fix all the above nine steps at once. Pick about 3 most important things that you think needs to be fixed for 3-4 weeks and you are trying to do this continuously until it becomes a habit.
Hopefully these tips useful for you so that someday you can become a good friend to talk to your friends or your spouse.
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