The problem with self motivation is that it wears off. This article is all about how to stop that precious commodity "motivation" from steadily draining away.
How come we can achieve truly great things in our lives when we really, really want to, yet somehow lack the motivation to do something comparatively easy, like eat less chocolate? How come a friend of mine completed a charity walk across England in flip flops yet I find it so difficult to get to the Gym once a week? History is littered with endless events of super human endurance and achievement that must have taken aircraft hangers full of motivation to complete, yet we all seem to stumble at such lowly first hurdles when it comes to keeping self motivated to do the simplest things, like lose weight, exercise more or re-invigorate our careers or relationships.
Many articles assume that self motivation is something that is done to us; that it's possible to go out and get it, like a haircut. This kind of motivation is the sort that wears out the quickest. It's the kind of motivation that sergeant majors use to get their troops through physical training. It's a bit like turning the volume up on your speakers. There's no new information, nothing we don't already know, nothing that has really changed inside us, but the increase in volume does make a difference. The big problem is that it never lasts. It's only as good as when the volume is full blast. As soon as it recedes into background noise we find ourselves back to square one. This is why people often suggest putting self motivational messages on the fridge door, or rewarding ourselves with little gifts; it's a way of keeping the motivational volume up.
Self motivation works best if it is not dependent upon external factors. This is because external factors tend to be relatively short lived. As soon as the sergeant major stops shouting the soldiers slump back into the barracks, and so it is with motivation. We even get immune to the messages of hope on the fridge door, or the warning on the side of cigarette packets. As soon as the external factor, whether a threat or a reward disappears, or loses impact, the motivation quickly dissipates.
The real trick is to find ways to internalize all those external motivational factors before they lose impact or disappear. This is the one big step that will make all the difference. When we truly make up our minds to do something (walk across England in flip flops for charity) we have an uncanny knack of getting it done. When it's something we don't really want to do (go to the Gym) we find endless ways to put it off. So how can we make ourselves really want to do something?
Despite much skepticism this is actually possible. In motivational psychology it is known as "increasing importance". There are 8 standard techniques to increase importance which have the overall effect of increasing intrinsic motivation. The easiest way to increase importance is to focus upon value. What do we value in life, and how can this be linked with self motivation.
The often quoted example is of the father of 2 daughters who was trying to give up smoking. He had tried all kinds of ways to stop smoking but still hadn't quite managed it. Despite believing that he valued his daughters above everything else, he made them wait outside school in the rain while he quickly popped into a shop to buy some cigarettes. When the in congruence of the situation dawned upon him, he was able to give up smoking for good.
This of course is a convenient example, but before you throw your arms up in despair, just have a quick think about what it is you really value in life, and what relationship it has with whatever you are struggling to increase self motivation to do. You may be quite surprised.
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